


Being Shy Leaves Me Lonely.

by 5secondsoftumblr



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Depression, Eating Disorder, High School AU, I swear, It Gets Better, M/M, i haven't decided if they get together, insecure!luke, mean kids, or its just friends, possible self harm, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-02-14 17:28:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2200611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5secondsoftumblr/pseuds/5secondsoftumblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke has always had trouble with making friends, he's quiet and shy and just not the one to be so open and ready to talk. So when he starts his new school, he has to make it through junior year, with all the high school classes and stuff, unfortunately for Luke those days don't seem to go by very fast and every day comes a new lie as to why he has a new bruise blossoming on his arm or a bleeding nose, all of which he finds an excuse. But he's lonely, he'll admit it, he loves his family he does, but, sometimes he wishes someone would care and be his friend? But then Luke thinks, why would someone be friends with an obvious loser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Day

Shy.

Luke was, shy.

Growing up with two loud older brothers he found he had no reason to be loud himself.

When Luke first entered seventh grade he was nervous he had two years of this then he got to enter the big school which was even scarier if it was possible, he had a bad case of anxiety which often lead to panic attacks but he would always have his mum there to help him through it, but not here.

That was 2 years ago though and now it was time for Luke to be a big kid and go to high school for his junior year.

In his bag he had his required books and a packed lunch because according to his brothers 'school food is ass' so swallowing the lump in the back of his throat and wiping away the tears he waved goodbye to his family and walked down to the bus stop and off to his new school.

After having trouble with his locker and nearly tripping over his own feet, you could say the day was going alright, his new school was different to primary where there was a smiling teacher at every corner and brightly coloured messages on the walls, it wasn't too bad he just had to remind himself, it was only first period.

Lunchtime came around quicker than expected, Luke was his usual shy self and didn't make a huge effort to talk to anyone, even though he had promised his mum he would try his best. Luke was a junior and being who he was he didn't talk or look at the seniors if they thought anything bad about him he knows they could hurt him easily. Luke looked around the lunchroom his year and the year above were supposed to share and found himself lost for where to sit, his brothers had given him some advice they told him to take into deep consideration.

'Wherever you sit on your first day, is where you'll sit for the rest of your life' Swallowing the oncoming twitches Luke made himself walk through the busy room. Looking left and right he noticed all the different groups, although none were as big and intimidating as the one near the centre back. Luke looked around with wild eyes at this point, noticing no one was looking at him with even a friendly glance, so at this point he was just looking for a seat or a table to sit on so he didn't look so bloody awkward.

"Hey! what's the matter newbie? No one want to sit with ya?" Lukes head snapped up in the direction of the voice, not realising it was aimed at him until the whole room started quietly giggling at the obvious popular boys antics. Trying to ignore the way Luke could feel a blush crawl up his neck and set his cheeks and most likely his ears on fire, he looked around and spotted an empty table at the back corner of the room. Ignoring the table as he walked by Luke just kept his sight on the back corner table.

"Have a nice trip loser" Luke felt his feet stumble over one of the popular boys feet, luckily Luke had his lunch in his bag or else it would have been even more embarrassing, but Luke just got himself up as quick as he could and continued on to the table. The group left Luke alone mostly after that and it was only when Luke had opened his lunchbox and taken out a bit of cake his mum had made that he heard the other table "Fattie! How much do you weigh? Because I reckon it's as much as a whale!" And if while the other table were laughing Luke slowly put his cake away and the rest of his lunchbox into his bag, spending the rest of lunch sitting quietly fiddling with his thumbs and ignoring the growing rumble from his stomach? well, no one would have to know.

Leaving school that afternoon was probably the cherry on top, after finally weaving through the crowd of sweaty and hormonal teens Luke got to his locker. He didn't have as much trouble getting his numbers in as before which was good, but when he went to leave he found himself pushed painfully up against the set. Lukes scruffy old vans were barely touching the ground with the way he was being held by his shirt. "Listen here Fag you better be here tomorrow morning bright and early so me and my boys can give you a good roughing up okay?" The boy asked, Luke just nodded his head to whatever they were saying, "Hey shit Jake we better get going our bus leaves in a few minutes" Luke breathes a sigh of relief when he is dropped to the ground, although when he tries to get up a foot connects with his stomach multiple times, which in itself leaves Luke gasping for air.

He missed his bus.

So his mum came to get him, she asked him how his first day was and he said he didn't miss any classes.

She told him she was so proud of him and he knew he couldn't tell her now.

That night when they got home Luke asked his mum to not pack any more cake, when asked why he just said he couldn't concentrate with the sugar running around his brain.

That night Luke stood in front of his full length mirror, his family long gone to bed resting for the next day. Luke had his shirt pulled up and was looking at one of the nastiest bruises he had ever seen, and the thing that made Luke pull his shirt down go to bed and cry himself to sleep was, the fact that he could already guess, this wasn't the worst he was going to get.

But he'd just have to wait until tomorrow.


	2. Why can't i be me and be happy?

Luke had made sure to wake up extra early the next morning, not wanting to be late for Jake and his tools and get hurt even worse. He decided to leave his hair down after mulling over the fact that it was probably going to end up down by the end of the day, slipping on some black skinny jeans and a sleeping with sirens shirt he grabbed a blue pair of vans and his back pack.   
"Morning Sweetheart you're early this morning" Liz greeted her son, missing out on the slight dark circles under his eyes, she continued to cook the pancakes and stir the eggs.   
"How many pancakes do you want hun?" Liz asked turning to Luke, but Luke wasn't sitting down waiting for his breakfast like normal, he was holding an apple and tying his shoelaces.  
"Sorry mum but I need to be at school early, no time! gotta go bye love you!"  
"But your bus doesn't leave for ages!" Liz Hemmings frowned after her youngest but just tutted and blamed late nights on the internet. Luke walked quite miserably down the street towards his school, he could easily walk everyday but it was such a hassle, but considering the bus doesn't come for a long time and he needs to be there soon, he decided walking was the best option and might lead to less bruises.

Kicking little pebbles that come into view is the only thing that occupies Luke as he makes his way closer and closer to his death. 'Okay Luke don't worry, it'll all be fine but don't you dare cry, they don't need another reason to hate you' Going over it all Luke thought the whole idea of bullying someone was stupid and he wish it didn't happen, but he was 14? what did he know. When the school finally came into view, Luke could feel his body trembling he has to pass the field in order to get to the schools main bit, but luckily he just walks by outside the fence so no trouble with the soccer team he can see practising. 

"HOOD! IRWIN! CLIFFORD! STOP MESSING ABOUT RUN TO THE FENCE AND BACK AND THEN 10 PRESS UPS AT MY FEET!" Luke turns and sees 3 boys who he's guessing are 15? 16? running towards his direction, they are talking to each other which seem to result in one with dimples laughing a lot, Luke was going to continue watching before he felt a tug at his collar.

"Ah look boys at least the fag can listen to orders" Jake just about spits in Lukes face, he corners him up into the sharp fence, "Give us your bag twinkle toes" Jake shouts tearing Luke from the fence only to push him back face first.  
'This is what I deserve?' Luke thought to himself, Luke couldn't close his eyes without it being painful, so he looked at the field and that's when he noticed the 3 boys a mere 20 metres away.  
'Well big kids laughing at me can't be that bad, right?' 

"Fag where's your lunch?" Jake snorts turning Luke around and giving him a slap with Lukes empty lunchbox.  
Luke hadn't packed it in the hopes that no one would make fun of him for having the packed lunch and cake again, just keeping the teasing to a minimum would be great.  
"Did you take our advice fat ass? finally going to cut down on the food aye?" Jake takes a teasing poke at lukes only slightly pudgy tummy and laughs at the horrified look on the poor boys face.  
"Okay boys hold him down" Jake says to his followers who come over and hold Lukes arms against the fence.  
"No! please! please! I-I don't want it p-plea-" Lukes cut off by falling forward by the force of the punch to his stomach, but he doesn't fall down because of the way he's being held up.  
Another kick to the stomach leaves look breathless and he's about to pass out when he hears voices coming closer.  
"The fuck you think you little shits are doing?!" The tight grip on Lukes arms are pulled off which makes him fall to the ground in a sore and painful heap.  
"You think bullying is fun you sick fucks? i'll beat the shit out of you all!" Looking up slightly Luke sees a boy with bright purple hair yelling after the retreating cowards, while Luke feels another two people helping him stand up.  
"Shit mate are you alright? We saw what they were doing and ran to the gates straight away" a boy with curly hair and hazel eyes tells Luke with an apologetic smile, "Thank you" Luke manages to wheeze out from his burning lungs which feel as if they will fall apart any second.  
Luke sees his bag on the ground with a few things spilt out of it, making a move to pick it up, he's stopped by tan hands.  
Luke follows his gaze up to see a boy with soft brown eyes and browny black hair styled into a slight quiff, Luke smiles at him and nods his head in thanks when he hands Luke his zipped up bag.

"Hey I'm Ashton, this is Calum and Michael" The boy with curly hair says to a nervous Luke who is standing away from the fence and looking at them all intently.  
"I-I'm L-Luke" He says rubbing an arm up his side where he can feel a bruise forming. Looking around worried Luke notices people starting to pull into the school car park. "Well I should go I guess" Luke says with a frown, he was already surprised by the fact the older people helped him in the first place, but he knew that he couldn't be seen with the cool kids by other students, they would be tormented for hanging out with a dork like Luke. "Wait why do you have to leave?" Calum asks, Luke looks around and points flimsily towards a big group coming from the distance. Hitching his back pack up and shuffling his feet, he quickly gets out "because you wouldn't want to be seen with a loser like me" and then he turns around and walks to the school gates ignoring the look of pain of the other boys faces.  
"We need to watch him" Ashton says when they see how the blonde boy slightly curves in on himself, "I already feel protective of the kid" Michael says pushing his hair out of his face, "Well we know his name so thats a start right?" Calum says nodding to his friends that they should head back to the field to finish up practise and make up an excuse to coach of why they stopped running. 

All Luke cant think about is 'why am i such a fuck up?'


	3. Hallways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAVEN'T UPDATED IN OVER A YEAR OML DON'T TOUCH ME SORRY XOXOXOXXOXO  
> BUT YES IM THINKING OF CONTINUING WITH THIS STORY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE IT

To say Luke had a hard few weeks after was an understatement, he found himself hiding in the bathroom at any spare moment. He was pushed in the hallways and beaten to a pulp outside and everyday he felt himself going home and trying to hide his newfound bruises. 

He also hadn't eaten much since school started he'd stay in his room in the morning until his bus was a minute away and then he'd kiss his mum on the cheek and run out the door. At lunch he was of course in the bathrooms. By the time dinner comes around he's able to tell his mum he ate a big lunch and has a lot of homework, and if that doesn't work he just eats a little bit off his plate. He lives off some crackers and lots of water throughout the day. 

It's not a lie technically, well okay he doesn't eat lunch but he does have a lot of homework and he is trying his best to listen in class but, he's just always a little distracted by those boys, the ones that saved him. 

He figured out the people to the names, Ashton Irwin, Calum Hood and Michael Clifford. They're sophomores and from what he's heard around school they're pretty popular, but they're also very nice. They are all on the soccer team, sometimes at lunch when Luke is feeling extra stupid he'll sneak outside and hide in the seat stands to watch their team practise at lunch, Luke learned that Calum is very good at basically the whole game, Ashton is an amazing goalie and Michael is more of a team supporter than an actual player but he's still better than Luke would be with his clumsy legs.  
He feels a bit like a creep when he watches them, but he hasn't been caught out by them yet and he only does it on his very very bad days when he needs cheering up. 

Like today. 

Today Luke had slept in and had to have the quickest shower known to man, he then had to quickly get dressed, which resulted in him putting his shirt on backwards. He also didn't have time to do his hair so he said 'fuck it' grabbed a hoodie and raced out the door. There were no seats on the bus so he had to stand, which resulted in him falling over at ever corner to which the whole bus would erupt in cruel crisp laughter.  
When he got to school he speed walked across the field to his first class which happened to be advanced english, a class he hasn't been to yet because he just got put up a level. That means that dorky freshman Luke will be in classes with big smart sophomores, as if he wasn't worrying about it enough as he's crossing the field he looks up and see's Jake and his gang coming straight towards him. 

"Shit, shit, shit.." Luke whispers stopping in his path but not sure of where to turn. It seems he doesn't even get a chance as he's charged at with Jakes fist, straight into lukes left eye. "Hey fag how's it going?" Jake smirks down at Luke who is kneeling on the ground clutching his already bruising eye. One of Jakes friends takes Lukes bag before Luke can stop him, but then Jake is kicking Luke in the stomach repeatedly. It feels as if it goes on forever and they seem like they could, but Jakes kicks are interrupted by the school bell ringing. "Shit come on Jake lets go we've got Smithers first and I can't have another detention." One of the boys says. Jake nods at them and gives Luke one last kick before dropping Lukes bag on his face. "See you later fatty!" They yell at Luke as they run off to class. 

Luke sits up slowly, his head pounding and vision a little blurry. He picks up his bag and sees in big red lettering 'FAG' Luke is about to let out his desperate tears but the school bell rings again, letting everyone know they should be in class. Picking up his bag Luke dusts himself off before slowly limping to class, along the way wiping away blood with his shirtsleeve and putting on his jumper to hide the horrible purple bruises blossoming on his arm. Although he can't do anything to hide the obvious bruise on his eye.  
"This is it." Luke whispers as he comes to the 101 room marked 'Sophomore English' after Luke realises that everyone is inside he puts his hood down and tries his best to not look like a complete loser, before knocking on the door. A middle aged woman with a kind face opens the door and smiles at Luke before noticing his bruised eye, which he tries his best to hide with lowering his head. She looks sympathetic as she opens the door and motions for Luke to come in.  
"Class this is a new student who will be joining us, he is a freshman and his name is Luke Hemmings!" She says as she smiles brightly at Luke. Looking around the classroom Luke sees a couple of people he recognizes from the hallways, but the thing that really catches his eye is the trio sitting at the very back.

Ashton, Michael and Calum. 

Each of them are staring intently at Lukes eye which he had forgotten about but quickly ducks his head so it's against his chest. "Okay Luke why don't you go sit in the back corner desk!" The lady whos name is Miss Birk from the name on the board, points to the desk in the same row as the three boys, only a few empty desks would be in between Luke and the boys. Luke tries to slow his breathing as he walks to the back of the class, he hears a few murmurs behind his back and once he gets to the back of the classroom and sits down he knows why, he had forgotten about his backpack and the red writing that covers it. Miss Birk starts the class and Luke notices a few sympathetic glances his way from a few people before everyone turns to the front to listen. 

Once people stop turning to look back at him Luke allows himself to slow his breathing down, a panic attack in front of this whole class would be deathly embarrassing. Luke fiddles with his hoodie sleeves as he tunes out what the teacher is saying, it's stuff he knows easily anyway. He pulls his sleeve up a little bit and cringes when he sees a dark purple bruise wrapped around his wrist. He's about to pull his sleeve down and actually start listening to the teacher when he hears a shocked gasp from his right. Turning with wide eyes Luke is faced with the boy with purple hair, Michael, staring at his wrist with large worrying eyes and he seems to be clutching the other boy next to him, Calums arm. The dark boy turns immediately to see what is worrying his friend when he sees Luke pulling down his sleeve quickly and staring at his desk to avoid eye contact. 

"Holy shit h-he had these dark dark bruises a-and oh my god Cal!" Michael turns away from the sad little blond to stare helplessly at his best friend and then looking at his other best friend, Ashton, who was already looking at Michael with the same look. "It's okay Mikey we'll help him don't worry babes." Calum says reassuringly before glancing back over at the blond who had tears trailing down his cheeks, while desperately wiping them away as to not draw attention. Michael looks down sadly when he hears Luke sniffle quietly, before Michael looks at Calum for help. "I've got this guys." Cal says while motioning over at Luke. 

"Hey uh Luke would you like to sit next to us?" He whispers to the hunched over boy. Luke looks up with a gaping mouth at the fact that, one they actually talked to him and two they're asking him to sit with them?! "I-I uh y-you want me t-to uh." Luke stutters over his words as the boys all smile friendly at him each of them motioning him over encouragingly.  
"Oh ah okay if you don't mind of c-course." Luke says quickly holding his backpack and moving to the seat beside Michael to not interrupt the class too much.  
"I'm Michael but you can call me Mikey or Mike, that's Cal and Ash." Luke smiles at each of them brightly but stops once he feels his lip has a split in it from his beating this morning. The boys in front of him all wince when they see Luke whimper quietly and almost curl into himself. 

The class goes on and there is little conversation shared between the four of the boys, they three sophomores try their best to pry open the tightly shut shell Luke has built for himself over the years, but the most they get out of him is that he has two brothers and a dog named Molly. Not much, but it was enough for the three boys to smile lovingly at him throughout the rest of the lesson.  
Once the bell rings for the next period Luke cleans up his work quickly and neatly puts it into his ruined backpack, the boys notice him frowning at the horrible words pasted onto it. Ashton places a soft hand on Lukes shoulder, quickly retreating once the blond boy violently flinches back. "Sorry! I uh s-sorry didn't I w-wasn't thinking." Luke says looking up at Ashton with wide, innocent eyes. 

Ashton smiles at him warmly "No, no don't worry Luke I was just going to ask if you wanted to sit with us at lunch?" Ashton looks genuine and Luke really wants to say yes, but he remembers the cafeteria and what happened on his first day, Jake and his friends would see luke and they would scare away Ash, Mike and Cal and then he would never hear the end of it, about how no one could ever love him and he is a dirty little fag with no friends.  
Tears fill lukes eyes as he looks down so he doesn't see the boys faces. "I'm sorry but you really wouldn't want to do that, thank you for saving me that day but you really don't want to be friends with me, I'll just be trouble and ruin your lives." He hears a few gasps and one whine which he pins to Michael but he doesn't stay long, just puts his defaced backpack on and walks stiffly out the door, offering a half assed smile at Miss Birk. 

"We're going to be his friend, I don't care what he says." Calum says as he wraps a comforting arm around his purple haired friend. "Don't worry mikey we'll make sure Jake and his asshole friends don't touch him ever again, I promise."


End file.
